Maybe you’ve been concerned about your mom recently. As she ages, you’re noticing a few worrisome signs that her needs at home are about to evolve beyond her independence. Sure, you’d love to stop by the house more frequently to help, but with a career and family schedule, it’s nearly impossible for you to take on this massive responsibility. It's a typical scenario in families, and it usually results in uprooting a senior to a nursing home or assisted living facility or retaining professional home care. However, people can be stubborn, especially parents who may be insecure about a type of "role reversal" happening. Your parent not only refuses to leave home, but Mom or Dad is rejecting the very idea of a professional caregiver. So how do you get them on board when they want to stay home but don’t want help from a professional caregiver? Here are five ways to find a caregiving compromise. Talk Through Their Fears — and YoursIt’s not easy for your parents to admit they need help. The thought of having another person in the home to help them perform tasks that used to be routine could make them quite uncomfortable. Of course, over time, that professional home health aide can become a close friend and partner, but it may take a while and trust-building. Work through these fears with your parents instead of forcing a solution. When an adult child becomes too controlling, the resistance from your parents is bound to increase. A 2004 study from SUNY Albany found this to be accurate, stating that participants were ambivalent about receiving care and “use a variety of strategies to deal with their ambivalent feelings, such as minimizing the help they receive, ignoring or resisting children’s attempts to control.” Though you may be frustrated by rejection and reticence, put yourself in their shoes. Be understanding, and once your parent feels understood, explain your point of view. Remember not to be patronizing or disrespectful, but share your genuine concerns about being able to stay home safely. More Dancing, Less WrestlingAn expert in geriatric communication and family relationships, David Solie, wrote a book about the best ways to navigate these difficult conversations. It was called “How to Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders.” Solie recommends the partnership approach and advocates for adult children to “put control on the table” rather than commandeering the process. He believes conversations about care should be “more dancing, less wrestling.” To that end, he offers many tools to talk in more concrete, visual ways about the current situation and the proposed solution. His "dance cards" provide go-to strategies on topics like resetting expectations and minding the gap, and his caregiver “mind maps” allow a caregiver to lay out in detail all the aspects of care to be considered. You could also keep a journal of your parents’ changing in-home senior care needs. All of these checklists and resources are especially helpful in getting buy-in from siblings as well, as your parents may not be the only ones opposed to bringing in-home care. Consider the RisksStaying home without any support can be risky. For one family, an aging spouse refused any at-home living assistance. The family has been worried about his waning mobility. Ultimately, he suffered a fall, which led to a hospitalization and, unfortunately, his passing — as he was not able to recover from the injuries he sustained. While no family can be fully prepared for a fall or other type of sudden health event, there are ways to prevent injuries and incidents that lead to such devastating outcomes — and having a professional caregiver as a presence in the home is one of them. Of course, not every fall results in such a tragic outcome; however, the road to recovery can be a turbulent one for a senior who has fallen. Along with doubling the risk of falling again after falling just once, the sheer financial impact can be crippling. All of this is to say, the risk of leaving Mom or Dad alone when he or she needs help isn't worth it, and you must discuss the risks with your parent. Work With a MediatorYou’ve explored every avenue of persuasion, using all the logic at your disposal, but it may be there is just no convincing Mom or Dad that this is the best option. That’s when bringing in a neutral third party to moderate the conversation could make a difference in the outcome. Sometimes your parents need to hear the options, risks, benefits, and challenges presented by someone who is not as emotionally invested as you are. A mediator may also help lessen the guilt burden many parents put on their children for considering home care. AARP offers these resources for finding a mediator, should this approach work best for your family. Present Options and Let Them ChooseEmpower your parents to decide on home care by gathering information on some providers. Ask for their input: what do they value in a home care company? What’s the budget? Talk about what a professional caregiver can do that they maybe never considered as an option: like providing companionship, or helping with housework and transportation to doctor’s appointments. Once you’ve gathered information on a few options, sit down together to discuss the pros and cons. Remember: even as you partner with a professional caregiver, you will still play an essential role as coordinator and advocate. Your opinion on a trusted in-home caregiver is equally valuable. Need more advice on building consensus on home care among the family? Visiting Angels Newton/Canton can help. Contact us today at 617-795-2727. About Visiting Angels Newton/Canton Visiting Angels Newton/Canton MA is an award-winning local home care agency providing high caliber in-home care services to the elderly and people with disabilities. Countless families have benefited from our Alzheimer's care, dementia home care, companion care, senior care, respite support, transitional aid, and at home living assistance services in Westwood, Norwood, Brookline, Watertown, Needham, Dedham, Canton, Stoughton, Natick, Wellesley, Newton, Chestnut Hill, Roslindale, and nearby towns.
We are honored to have been awarded Top Places to Work by the Boston Globe for five years. We have also earned the Best of Home Care – Leader in Excellence, Trusted Provider, Best of Home Care Provider, and Best of Home Care Employer by Home Care Pulse. We are proudly accredited by the Home Care Alliance of Massachusetts. While non-medical in nature, the care provided by Visiting Angels Newton/Canton can make a significant impact on your loved one's happiness and quality of life. Call us at 617-795-2727 for information.
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Many seniors struggle with chronic medical conditions that must be carefully managed, not just by health professionals, but also by professional caregivers. We spoke with several professional caregivers about common ailments among seniors that can complicate caregiving and how you can help improve the quality of life for your aging loved one. Mobility ChallengesLimited mobility poses more challenges to caregiving. Arthritis affects several adults over the age of 65, making it one of the most common chronic conditions seniors must manage. Osteoporosis, another common diagnosis in seniors, can increase the risk of fractures or falls, leading to significant disability. Falls caused by weak bones or arthritis can make it painful or difficult to complete day to day tasks and prevent your loved one from being physically active. Seniors with mobility problems are particularly at risk for injury inside the home. Keeping the house free of clutter or other potential hazards should be the first step to keeping your loved one with mobility challenges safe. Staying active is also essential for health and well-being for people of all ages, but this may be challenging for those with pain or difficulty moving. Consider speaking to your loved one's doctor to come up with a plan for staying physically active. This may mean a referral to a physical therapist or exercise physiologist who specializes in working around mobility difficulties. Swallowing DifficultiesDid you know that as we age, it is more common to have difficulties with chewing or swallowing? Missing teeth or poorly fitting dentures may cause chewing problems. Swallowing difficulties, called dysphagia, can happen when the esophagus becomes weak, or other physical changes occur. Nicole Keels-McGruder, a professional caregiver, states that caring for seniors with swallowing or chewing difficulties can cause significant challenges. She recalls a senior she cared for, “who could not drink thin fluids and all of her foods had to be pureed. A thickener had to be added to her drinks. Making sure that she was properly elevated during meals was also something that I learned the hard way. Because of her condition, I stayed in the room with her for an additional 30 minutes to make sure that all of her food was down.” Nicole added that the time it took to prepare, puree, thicken, and ensure proper positioning was much more demanding of her time and energy. Getting help with food preparation or supervision of meals can help your loved one if they have been diagnosed with dysphagia. A home health aide can help relieve some of the pressure in caring for and supervising a loved one with dysphagia or other swallowing concerns. Infectious DiseasesAccording to the American Academy of Family Physicians, older adults are more susceptible to infectious diseases. Common contagious illnesses that can impact the elderly include urinary tract infections and digestive and respiratory diseases, like pneumonia and influenza. It is also more challenging to diagnose people over 65 because they don't always present with typical symptoms. Instead, they can experience more generalized symptoms like loss of appetite, a change in mental status or incontinence. A difficulty with a diagnosis can lead to prolonged discomfort and a higher risk of hospitalization. For family caregivers, it is essential to understand the signs and symptoms of common infections to start treatment as soon as possible. Look for sudden changes in behavior, confusion, skin infections, chills, difficulty breathing, cough, fever, digestive disturbances, or lack of appetite. These symptoms should be evaluated immediately by a medical doctor who can determine the best course of action. An annual flu shot is also recommended for all seniors. Home Care Demands a VillageAll this is to say that you should genuinely consider your role in your aging parent's in-home care. Ailments like these are so common among the elderly, the degree of care your loved one needs is sure to evolve. While you may be able to handle things initially, are you genuinely ready to juggle a parent's worsening ailment with your own family and responsibilities?
Many of these conditions that impact older adults are chronic and require regular management. Getting help from a senior home care agency can be instrumental in ensuring your loved one’s quality of life. About Visiting Angels Newton/Canton Choosing the right home care provider is a difficult decision, and you want the best for your loved one. Our experienced and compassionate home caregivers have served countless seniors and disabled adults in Greater Boston with dignity and respect for over 14 years. As a result of our exemplary home care service, Visiting Angels Newton/Canton has won the Best of Home Care Leader in Excellence Award; the Best of Home Care Provider of Choice Award; and the Best of Home Care Employer of Choice Award from the national client satisfaction survey firm Home Care Pulse five years in a row. We have accreditation by Home Care Alliance of Massachusetts and have been awarded Boston Globe Top Places to Work. Visiting Angels Newton/Canton offers dementia home care, Alzheimer’s care, companion care, respite support, transitional aid, live-in care and other elder home care services in Wellesley, Natick, Newton, Needham, Brookline, Chestnut Hill, Canton, Westwood, Dedham, Water-town, Stoughton, Roslindale, Norwood, and nearby towns. The services provided by Visiting Angels Newton/Canton will be sure to make a positive impact on your loved one’s happiness and quality of life. Call us today at 617-795-2727 for more information. As we age, our muscles may weaken, our dexterity may suffer, and in some cases, we deteriorate mentally. If you have aging parents, you may experience this first-hand as your parent begins needing additional help with everyday tasks around the home. Maybe you don't mind helping if Dad needs help cleaning, cooking, or getting dressed. However, what happens when your aging parent needs help in the bathroom? Risk of Falling in the BathroomRoutine activities like bathing or showering and getting in and out of the tub can cause slips and injuries. People over 85, especially if suffering from any incontinence, which is common in Alzheimer’s patients, are more likely to injure themselves on or near the toilet because they often have to rush to get in the bathroom, placing them at higher risk for falls. Moreover, sadly, the consequences of senior falls can be severe. Over 27,000 seniors in the USA die as a result of falls every year. If Dad is getting unsteady on his feet, it may be that bathing unsupervised is no longer an option. If you’re the only one capable of helping out, you may need to prepare yourself to enter the bathroom with your aging parent. Overcome the EmbarrassmentGoing to the bathroom is a personal, private experience, so helping a friend or family member use the toilet can be embarrassing for both you and your loved one. Some seniors may be ashamed to appear so vulnerable in front of a family member, and it may be hard for you to see the person who raised you in such a state. However, overcoming the embarrassment can lead to positive outcomes. Studies have shown that seniors who feel supported by a family member to achieve daily activities, such as using the toilet, feel more independent and in control of their lives, which in turn offers health benefits. Your loved one may come to realize that receiving bathroom help is better than the alternative, which could include leaving home for a nursing home or assisted living facility and losing independence. Make it as Easy as PossibleIf using the bathroom is difficult for Dad, it may be possible to remodel his bathroom to make it easier to use. Installing grab bars could help him to get on and off the toilet; nonslip decals are easy to apply to tubs and tiles to minimize slip risk. Senior-friendly walk-in tubs with doors can provide easy access, although they can be expensive. In general, ensuring that everything is within his reach, and there are minimal obstacles will be a great start. Offering Physical Help Unfortunately, sometimes even a remodel might not be enough to allow every senior to use the bathroom alone, some will need a person there to help. The Family Caregiver Alliance offers tips on how to aid a senior loved one in the bathroom:
Consider Professional HelpIt’s possible that through no fault of your own, helping your loved one use the toilet may not be something that either of you is ever comfortable with as part of a routine. In this case, you could consider professional home care services. A professional caregiver can visit your loved one and help with personal care. A professional caregiver could assist with most of your loved one’s needs, including helping walk to the toilet, getting undressed, getting into the tub, washing, and even using the bathroom. Even if you are both comfortable with you helping in the bathroom, a professional caregiver or home health aide could offer another crucial point of assistance. Although some seniors may keep to a reasonably regular bathroom schedule, most could need to use the bathroom at any time of the day or night, which means you could be on call 24/7. Getting respite care services from a home care provider would allow you some time off while ensuring that your loved one's bathroom needs are adequately addressed. About Visiting Angels Newton/Canton Visiting Angels Newton/Canton senior home care agency provides quality in-home care services to seniors and people with disabilities. Countless families have benefited from our dementia home care, Alzheimer’s care, companion care, respite support, transitional aid, and elder home care services in Wellesley, Natick, Newton, Needham, Brookline, Chestnut Hill, Canton, Westwood, Dedham, Watertown, Stoughton, Roslindale, Norwood, and nearby towns. The services provided by Visiting Angels Newton/Canton will be sure to make a positive impact on your loved one’s happiness and quality of life. Call us today at 617-795-2727 for more information. If it were up to Leslie’s 85-year-old dad, he would be happy to sit at the computer and play games or watch TV most days. She saw that first-hand after her dad took a tumble last spring and broke a bone in his hip. The spill sent him first to the hospital and then to a rehabilitation center before he could go back to his summer home in Florida, with a care plan to continue his exercises. “The problem is, he didn’t do them,” says Tennyson. So, she hired a physical therapist to come to his home twice a week to work on exercises to keep him active. “It was helpful,’’ said Tennyson, who is now using this experience to guide her in selecting future home care services in Wellesley, where her dad lives the rest of year. “Once he got the push, he could drive himself to the grocery store and get back to cooking -- a hobby he enjoys,” she said. “He needed some motivation.” Staying Sedentary is UnhealthyStaying active is key to maintaining physical, emotional, and psychological health. While older adults may worry that becoming more active could result in injury, the National Institute of Health (NIH) says staying sedentary is what is harmful. “Studies show that ‘taking it easy is risky,’’ the NIH says. “For the most part, when older people lose their ability to do things on their own, it doesn’t happen just because they’ve aged. It’s usually because they have lived a sedentary lifestyle.” According to a U.S. Surgeon General’s Report on Physical Activity and Health,inactive people are nearly twice as likely to develop heart disease as those who are active. Moreover, a lack of physical movement can lead to a higher number of visits to the doctor, hospitalizations, and added use of medications for a variety of illnesses. Leslie said her dad’s surgery and subsequent therapy was the “wake up call I needed” to start looking for senior home care services. The experience helped her recognize that a home health care provider will motivate her dad to continue an active lifestyle as well as incorporate his hobbies. The benefits of physical activity, according to that U.S. Surgeon General report, are numerous. Physical activity has been shown to:
Moreover, if that isn’t enough, consider the benefits of maintaining social activities. The National Institute on Aging (NIA) points to research and studies that show aging adults who continue hobbies and social interactions are:
Professional Caregiver Improves Senior’s Health and OutlookLike many family caregivers who struggle with bouts of caregiver guilt, Leslie is aware that she likely doesn’t push her dad enough or recognize how to get him to pursue his hobbies. However, it is now at the top of her list of questions to ask a professional caregiver because she saw first-hand how her dad's health and his outlook improved. She said she wants to hear a potential provider ask her dad what his hobbies are, what he enjoys doing around the house, and she will then ask for a care plan to continue those activities. Leslie is looking for professionals to empower her dad, not enable him. “I want him to be as independent as possible," says Leslie. “I don’t want him to give up physically or emotionally. The home health care company that appeals to me will not just do the function of following the care plan, but will produce a positive attitude and atmosphere.” How to Stay ActiveThere are four areas to concentrate on for your parent to remain or to become active. You can help Mom or Dad work on these a little each day. None of the exercises below require a gym membership, and many activities can be done at home with the help of a home health care professional. Remember to have your parent talk with a doctor before beginning any exercise program.
Endurance Endurance exercises get the heart pumping and increase breathing. Focusing on endurance helps with everyday activities like walking up stairs and shopping. Encourage your parent to:
Muscle conditioning exercises help your parent build strength and can help him or her with activities like keeping up with grandchildren and carrying groceries. Encourage your parent to:
Falling is a significant concern among aging adults, and for a good reason, one in four Americans, aged 65-plus falls each year. Focusing on balance exercises can help your parent become more stable and reduce falls. Encourage your parent to:
Flexibility exercises are stretches that will help your parent remain limber. Staying agile will help your parent get dressed, put on shoes, and take down or put away items on shelves. Encourage your loved one to:
You or your professional caregiver can also help Mom or Dad map their progress by keeping a daily log. The National Institute of Health’s Go4life has adownloadable one here. For more information on home care assistance services and how a professional caregiver can keep your parent active, contact Visiting Angels Newton/Canton by calling 617-795-2727. Sources:
About Visiting Angels Newton/Canton: Visiting Angels Newton/Canton MA is an award-winning local home care agency providing high caliber in-home care services to the elderly and people with disabilities. Countless families have benefited from our Alzheimer's care, dementia care, companion care, senior care, respite support, transitional aid, and elder home care services in Needham, Dedham, Brookline, Watertown, Canton, Stoughton, Natick, Wellesley, Newton, Chestnut Hill, Roslindale, Westwood, Norwood and nearby towns . While non-medical in nature, the care provided by Visiting Angels Newton/Canton can make a significant impact on your loved one's happiness and quality of life. Call us at 617-795-2727 for information! Sources:
About Visiting Angels Newton/Canton: Visiting Angels Newton/Canton MA is an award-winning local home care agency providing high caliber in-home care services to the elderly and people with disabilities. Countless families have benefited from our Alzheimer's care, dementia care, companion care, senior care, respite support, transitional aid, and elder home care services in Needham, Dedham, Brookline, Watertown, Canton, Stoughton, Natick, Wellesley, Newton, Chestnut Hill, Roslindale, Westwood, Norwood and nearby towns . While non-medical in nature, the care provided by Visiting Angels Newton/Canton can make a significant impact on your loved one's happiness and quality of life. Call us at 617-795-2727 for information or fill out the form below! Sources:
About Visiting Angels Newton/Canton: Visiting Angels Newton/Canton MA is an award-winning local home care agency providing high caliber in-home care services to the elderly and people with disabilities. Countless families have benefited from our Alzheimer's care, dementia care, companion care, senior care, respite support, transitional aid, and elder home care services in Needham, Dedham, Brookline, Watertown, Canton, Stoughton, Natick, Wellesley, Newton, Chestnut Hill, Roslindale, Westwood, Norwood and nearby towns . While non-medical in nature, the care provided by Visiting Angels Newton/Canton can make a significant impact on your loved one's happiness and quality of life. Call us at 617-795-2727 for information or fill out the form below! For many, the holidays are the best time of year filled with family get-togethers, feasts and fun traditions; but for seniors, this can be the most depressing of all seasons as they pine for lost loved ones. And in a lot of cases, with family miles away, seniors struggle to decorate, shop, and prepare a meal. They struggle with feeling sad that they can’t move around as easily as they did when they were younger. Visiting Angels, one of the largest in-home senior care companies in the nation, offers local families the vital service of hiring senior loved ones a holiday companion. Don’t know what to get Grandma or Grandpa for Christmas? How about a friend, or better yet, an angel - a Visiting Angel that is! A holiday companion is also a priceless gift that adult children can give themselves this year – Visiting Angels can provide them with a professional caregiver to tend to their senior loved ones’ every need as they prepare for a house full of guests or holiday event. Roughly one in four seniors (age 65 or older) suffers from depression. More than 70 percent of older Americans feel isolated and lonely*. And, nearly one-third of all non-institutionalized older Americans live alone** (more depression information included below). “The holidays can be tough on seniors because many have lost people they loved. Plus, they aren’t as mobile to visit friends and family or even decorate or shop,” says Larry Meigs, CEO of Visiting Angels. “Our caregivers socialize with seniors, take them visiting and keep them engaged instead of sitting at home feeling isolated and depressed. Plus, our caregivers give families the heads up about their senior’s state-of-mind, to differentiate between the holiday blues and full-blown depression.” The Holiday Blues vs. Senior DepressionThe holiday blues are often temporary and dissipate when the season ends. The holiday blues are also associated with the time change – as daylight hours become shorter. If the blues continue after the season, it could be a warning sign of depression. Senior depression is often mistaken for other age-related issues. In fact, stress-related events such as the holidays may trigger half of all depressive episodes, according to the U.C. Davis Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences. Common signs of senior depression include***
How Angels Help Seniors Beat the Holiday BluesEncourage seniors to exercise – Various studies reveal that staying physically active not only makes people feel good, but it has the same effect on mood and brain chemistry as antidepressants. Keep alcohol use to a minimum – Alcohol is a known depressant. Visiting Angels caregivers can create some other festive drinks such as eggnog or a flavored hot chocolate to help seniors cheerfully toast to the season. Don’t feel obligated to buy lots of gifts – Giving certainly can make you feel good but in times of financial despair, giving gifts can create a lot of stress. Instead, Visiting Angels caregivers can help seniors write and send personalized cards to family and friends. Stay connected socially – Volunteer at a soup kitchen (or other organization) with a caregiver – giving back greatly improves people’s moods and increases their sense of self-worth. Caregivers can also teach seniors how to use computers or cell phones to stay socially connected with family and friends. They can take seniors to a local coffee shop or to look at Christmas lights for some holiday cheer outside the home. Be a good listener – Sometimes all it takes to help a senior with the holiday blues is to simply listen. Through conversation, caregivers can help seniors live in the present (instead of dwelling on “the good old days”) and keep their holiday expectations realistic. Caregivers also cook, clean, drive seniors to doctors and stores, and even help decorate! Get a professional caregiver for your senior loved one today! *University of Michigan study, 2005 **Administration on Aging (2010 data). ***Gottlieb Memorial Hospital and Center for the Study and Prevention of Suicide About Visiting Angels Newton/Canton Visiting Angels Newton/Canton senior home care agency provides high quality in-home care services to seniors and people with disabilities. Countless families have benefited from our dementia home care, Alzheimer’s care, companion care, respite support, transitional aid, and elder home care services in Brookline, Watertown, Westwood, Wellesley, Natick, Newton, Needham, Chestnut Hill, Canton, Dedham, Stoughton, Roslindale, Norwood and nearby towns . The services provided by Visiting Angels Newton/Canton will be sure to make a big impact on your loved one’s happiness and quality of life. Call us today at 617-795-2727 for more information. |
AuthorVisiting Angels Newton/Canton is an award-winning in-home care agency that provides high quality home care to seniors and disabled adults in Greater Boston, MA. Archives
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