Maybe you’ve been concerned about your mom recently. As she ages, you’re noticing a few worrisome signs that her needs at home are about to evolve beyond her independence. Sure, you’d love to stop by the house more frequently to help, but with a career and family schedule, it’s nearly impossible for you to take on this massive responsibility. It's a typical scenario in families, and it usually results in uprooting a senior to a nursing home or assisted living facility or retaining professional home care. However, people can be stubborn, especially parents who may be insecure about a type of "role reversal" happening. Your parent not only refuses to leave home, but Mom or Dad is rejecting the very idea of a professional caregiver. So how do you get them on board when they want to stay home but don’t want help from a professional caregiver? Here are five ways to find a caregiving compromise. Talk Through Their Fears — and YoursIt’s not easy for your parents to admit they need help. The thought of having another person in the home to help them perform tasks that used to be routine could make them quite uncomfortable. Of course, over time, that professional home health aide can become a close friend and partner, but it may take a while and trust-building. Work through these fears with your parents instead of forcing a solution. When an adult child becomes too controlling, the resistance from your parents is bound to increase. A 2004 study from SUNY Albany found this to be accurate, stating that participants were ambivalent about receiving care and “use a variety of strategies to deal with their ambivalent feelings, such as minimizing the help they receive, ignoring or resisting children’s attempts to control.” Though you may be frustrated by rejection and reticence, put yourself in their shoes. Be understanding, and once your parent feels understood, explain your point of view. Remember not to be patronizing or disrespectful, but share your genuine concerns about being able to stay home safely. More Dancing, Less WrestlingAn expert in geriatric communication and family relationships, David Solie, wrote a book about the best ways to navigate these difficult conversations. It was called “How to Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders.” Solie recommends the partnership approach and advocates for adult children to “put control on the table” rather than commandeering the process. He believes conversations about care should be “more dancing, less wrestling.” To that end, he offers many tools to talk in more concrete, visual ways about the current situation and the proposed solution. His "dance cards" provide go-to strategies on topics like resetting expectations and minding the gap, and his caregiver “mind maps” allow a caregiver to lay out in detail all the aspects of care to be considered. You could also keep a journal of your parents’ changing in-home senior care needs. All of these checklists and resources are especially helpful in getting buy-in from siblings as well, as your parents may not be the only ones opposed to bringing in-home care. Consider the RisksStaying home without any support can be risky. For one family, an aging spouse refused any at-home living assistance. The family has been worried about his waning mobility. Ultimately, he suffered a fall, which led to a hospitalization and, unfortunately, his passing — as he was not able to recover from the injuries he sustained. While no family can be fully prepared for a fall or other type of sudden health event, there are ways to prevent injuries and incidents that lead to such devastating outcomes — and having a professional caregiver as a presence in the home is one of them. Of course, not every fall results in such a tragic outcome; however, the road to recovery can be a turbulent one for a senior who has fallen. Along with doubling the risk of falling again after falling just once, the sheer financial impact can be crippling. All of this is to say, the risk of leaving Mom or Dad alone when he or she needs help isn't worth it, and you must discuss the risks with your parent. Work With a MediatorYou’ve explored every avenue of persuasion, using all the logic at your disposal, but it may be there is just no convincing Mom or Dad that this is the best option. That’s when bringing in a neutral third party to moderate the conversation could make a difference in the outcome. Sometimes your parents need to hear the options, risks, benefits, and challenges presented by someone who is not as emotionally invested as you are. A mediator may also help lessen the guilt burden many parents put on their children for considering home care. AARP offers these resources for finding a mediator, should this approach work best for your family. Present Options and Let Them ChooseEmpower your parents to decide on home care by gathering information on some providers. Ask for their input: what do they value in a home care company? What’s the budget? Talk about what a professional caregiver can do that they maybe never considered as an option: like providing companionship, or helping with housework and transportation to doctor’s appointments. Once you’ve gathered information on a few options, sit down together to discuss the pros and cons. Remember: even as you partner with a professional caregiver, you will still play an essential role as coordinator and advocate. Your opinion on a trusted in-home caregiver is equally valuable. Need more advice on building consensus on home care among the family? Visiting Angels Newton/Canton can help. Contact us today at 617-795-2727. About Visiting Angels Newton/Canton Visiting Angels Newton/Canton MA is an award-winning local home care agency providing high caliber in-home care services to the elderly and people with disabilities. Countless families have benefited from our Alzheimer's care, dementia home care, companion care, senior care, respite support, transitional aid, and at home living assistance services in Westwood, Norwood, Brookline, Watertown, Needham, Dedham, Canton, Stoughton, Natick, Wellesley, Newton, Chestnut Hill, Roslindale, and nearby towns.
We are honored to have been awarded Top Places to Work by the Boston Globe for five years. We have also earned the Best of Home Care – Leader in Excellence, Trusted Provider, Best of Home Care Provider, and Best of Home Care Employer by Home Care Pulse. We are proudly accredited by the Home Care Alliance of Massachusetts. While non-medical in nature, the care provided by Visiting Angels Newton/Canton can make a significant impact on your loved one's happiness and quality of life. Call us at 617-795-2727 for information.
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Finding the right home care provider for your spouse, parent, or grandparent can be difficult. Thanks to our Select Your Caregiver® program, Visiting Angels® makes it easy for care recipients and their families to find a compatible home care provider. We’ve been matching clients with qualified, skilled, and compassionate caregivers for more than two decades. We know what it takes to find the right fit, and we understand how important and impactful your choice of caregiver will be. If you’re currently looking for a home care provider and you’re unsure what to look for in a caregiver, don’t worry. By focusing on the following three qualities, you will quickly narrow down the list of potential caregivers. 1. Caregiving Skills & Experience Home care is a wide-ranging industry, encompassing many different types of care services. On one end of the spectrum is companion care, which provides aging and disabled individuals with a helping hand for necessary, day-to-day activities. On the other end, are various types of specialized care for individuals with physical and cognitive disabilities. If your loved one only requires essential in-home living assistance — help running errands, making meals, doing laundry — a companion care provider will be suitable. Other types of care will require a caregiver with specialized skills and experience. This includes physical assistance, as well as specialized care services such as Alzheimer’s care and dementia care. Before meeting with in-home care agencies, it’s a good idea to draw up a list of tasks that your loved one will need from his or her caregiver. Consider researching caregiving activities online so that you don’t forget anything. This will also allow you to familiarize yourself with which types of caregivers provide which kinds of services. When meeting with potential in-home care agencies, it is helpful to review this list with them in detail. Ask them whether they provide each of the services your loved one will need. Also, check whether the caregivers are CNA or HHA-certified caregivers; they have training or experience providing these services to seniors. Finally, make sure that they are adequately licensed for whatever level of care your loved one requires. 2. Choose a Home Care Aide with PersonalityWhen hiring a home care provider, a caregiver’s personality can be as important as his or her professional skill set. On a basic level, this will ensure that your loved one trusts his or her caregiver. Without this trust, high-quality home care service can be unhelpful. On a deeper level, the right personality fit can be the difference between substandard care and the right caregiver. Your loved one will spend several hours a week with their caregiver, so it’s vital that a strong relationship is established. When personalities clash, home care visits are a chore for both parties. However, with the right fit, a caregiver can feel like a new member of the family. As you meet with caregivers, it’s crucial that you and your loved one get a feel for each caregiver as a person. Will your loved one feel comfortable receiving care from this individual? Will your loved one enjoy conversations or quiet time in this person’s presence? Will you and your family feel at ease with this caregiver looking after your loved one? Trust your instincts and make sure that you, your loved one, and your family are happy with the final decision. 3. Caregiver Availability & SchedulingThe third important factor when choosing a compatible home care provider is scheduling and availability. While some seniors only require a few hours of care every week, others require assistance on a full-time basis or even 24-hour care. The more intensive your loved one’s caregiving needs, the more challenging it can be to find a caregiver with suitable availability.
At the same time, many seniors are set in their day-to-day routines and preferences. It’s important that these routines are maintained or accommodated when scheduling home care visits. If your loved one enjoys sleeping in, early morning visits could be disruptive. If they enjoy afternoon walks, you’ll want to make sure that a caregiver is there to accompany them. While scheduling and availability are important in a home caregiver, sometimes it’s worth making the sacrifice for the right caregiver. If, for example, you’ve found a caregiver with the ideal skill set and personality, but your loved one would need to take their daily walk an hour later each day, a slight change in your loved one’s routine may be worth it to get the caregiver you feel is the right fit. Are you looking for qualified home care providers in your area? Contact us today for a free in-home consultation. Visiting Angels Newton/Canton has an outstanding team of caregivers who work tirelessly to provide quality care to our clients. Contact us at 617-795-2727 for a free in-home consultation! When making care decisions for a family member who is showing signs of memory loss, dementia or Alzheimer’s, it’s vital to understand the stages that they may go through. By having a better understanding of the changes in behavior and abilities, you can choose the most effective course of action for your loved one’s treatment and care with the help of doctors and caregivers. Alzheimer’s and dementia place a heavy burden on family and friends. The Alzheimer’s Association states that, in 2017, 16.1 million family members and friends provided 18.4 billion hours of unpaid care to people with Alzheimer’s and other dementias, at a value of over $232 billion. Plus, the slow progression through the stages by the patient leads to long-term care duties for the unpaid Alzheimer’s and dementia caregivers. The Alzheimer’s Association says that 86 percent have provided care for at least the past year, and half have been providing care for four or more years. Depending on the severity of the memory loss of the senior, families often seek help from home care services, ranging from a little respite care to 24-hour home care assistance. The following stages are based on the Reisberg Scale, developed by Dr. Barry Reisberg of New York University. Ultimately, the stage of dementia will be determined by a doctor through the use of tests and examinations. To help make the phases more relatable, we’ll outline some real-world scenarios to go with the more clinical definitions. Stage 1: Normal/No ImpairmentThere are no outward signs of memory loss or dementia, and your loved one’s behavior and mood have not changed. “Laura is still keeping a full calendar, from volunteering at the local hospital to meeting her friends for lunch a few times a week. She’s sharp as a tack, too. She’s started working on digital photography courses and picked it right up.” Stage 2: Very Mild/Normal Aged ForgetfulnessThe second stage of dementia is mostly one that the person subjectively notices happening to themselves. Typical examples would be someone thinking they don’t remember names as well as they used to, or temporarily forgetting where their keys are more often. If someone seems to be in stage 2, some studies have shown that they may progress more rapidly through the following stages. “Paul feels that he’s more forgetful when it comes to places and names, but that it’s not affecting him at work. He’s getting older, so it’s probably just typical stuff for someone his age.” Stage 3: Mild Cognitive ImpairmentIn this stage, changes begin to be noticeable by friends and family. The person can probably get through their daily routine, but a range of symptoms can be observed. There can be higher levels of forgetfulness and memory loss, including more repetitive questions from the person. More complex activities that involve planning and organizations can become challenging, which can be particularly worrisome when it comes to staying on top of medications. There can also be a loss of concentration, higher levels of anxiety, and overall confusion. Stage 3 is where initial Alzheimer’s testing typically occurs, so be sure to encourage family members to be tested. “Jackie is starting to worry me because she’s still trying to do everything she’s used to doing, but she has trouble with her memory. I can also tell that she gets frustrated when she notices it happening.” Stage 4: Moderate DementiaFor people in this stage, tasks like cooking, shopping and cleaning are very hard to accomplish without assistance. Issues with memory loss and forgetfulness intensify and should be very apparent to casual acquaintances. Proper speech and “finding the right words” can be a challenge as well. There can also be noticeable psychological changes, most often seen in withdrawal from social situations. Usually, this is a state of denial where the subject knows their mental facilities are in decline but don’t want to admit it, even to themselves. Rather than engage in a conversation and forget a name, or try to order from a menu and misspeak, they will avoid the situation. This stage is also named mild Alzheimer’s disease, and diagnoses in this stage are often very accurate. “I’m glad Les has his family close by because he’s been in decline the last few months. It has to be hard on them to assist in more and more activities, especially as he seems to be more and more withdrawn.” Stage 5: Moderately Severe DementiaWhen a person enters this stage of dementia, they typically need frequent assistance to make it through their daily activities. There is often an inability to recall necessary, deeply ingrained information, such as phone numbers, home address, or schools attended. Someone in stage 5 would have great difficulty living an independent life. They may need living assistance in a variety of areas, from picking the proper clothes for the weather to eating regular, healthy meals to handling basic tasks like paying a bill. “When I saw Mari the other day, she was wearing short sleeves even though it was 40 degrees outside. I’ve also noticed her not being able to recall her home address, which makes me glad she has someone coming to provide in-home care every day.” Stage 6: Severe DementiaIn stage 6, having full-time care is a must for most patients. They often need help to dress, bathe or use the bathroom. Things that seem as simple as flushing the toilet will be forgotten, leading to cleanliness and sanitary issues within the house. The memory loss can also manifest itself in the person wandering or getting lost and forgetting the names of family members. A breakdown of speaking ability can often occur later in this stage, making it harder for family members and home caregivers to meet the needs of the person. Emotional and behavioral changes can be quite troubling in this stage as well, as those who have severe dementia can be increasingly paranoid and hostile. “John’s family seemed very distraught when discussing his current condition with me. They’re so worried about his behavior that they’re cutting back on visits from friends to see him. Plus, he’s at a stage where things that would be very embarrassing are routinely happening, and they want to protect people’s good memories of him.” Stage 7: Very Severe DementiaStage 7 is the final stage of dementia and patients require full-time care. Moving, eating, talking can be nearly impossible for some people, so even trained professional caregivers can find themselves taxed by the needs of the patient. Symptoms of this stage often include a loss of the ability to speak and communicate, a loss of awareness for people and surroundings, and the failure of motor control, which can lead to an inability to control facial expressions. “It’s troubling to visit Doris these days as there isn’t much of her personality or even physical state left that you would recognize. Thankfully, she has very patient and caring people looking after her who are trying to make her final days as good as they can be.” ConclusionIf you can identify symptoms from any of the stages outlined above in your loved ones, please reach out to their primary caregiver to begin the process of testing. Early detection can be instrumental in managing the progression of the disease and also give you time to plan the approach to caregiving that is right for your family, whether it’s assisted living, friends and family, or in-home care by HHAs and CNAs. About Visiting Angels Newton/Canton Visiting Angels Newton/Canton MA is an award-winning local home care agency providing high caliber in-home care services to elderly and people with disabilities. Countless families have benefited from our dementia home care, Alzheimer’s care, companion care, respite support, transitional aid, and senior home care services in Needham, Dedham, Brookline, Chestnut Hill, Wellesley, Newton, Canton, Westwood, Watertown, Natick, Stoughton, Roslindale, Norwood, and nearby towns. While non-medical in nature, the care provided by Visiting Angels Newton/Canton can make a significant impact on your loved one’s happiness and quality of life. As baby boomers age, America has more seniors than ever before. By 2060 it is estimated that the number of Americans over 65 years old will rise to 98.6 million, with 19.7 million people aged 85 or older. With so many seniors in the population, it begs the question: Who will care for those who can no longer care for themselves? This potential problem has become known as the “caregiving crunch,” and it could be argued that it has already begun. Twelve million Americans require care today, and by 2050, it’s estimated that number will be more like 27 million, with over half of those needing care suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. How Did It Come About?Between 2000 and 2016, the average age of an American according to the census bureau rose from 35.3 to 37.9 years old, with statisticians placing the blame for this rise on the baby boom, the post-World War II period from 1946 to 1964 when birth rates were high. Baby boomers started turning 65 in 2011 and more of them will be entering their senior years until 2029. Added to the increased population, advances in medical science and data technology are helping people live longer. People are now more health conscious, illustrated by things like declining cigarette sales since the 1980s and wellness food trends growing. As medical treatments improve and people live healthier lives, the average age of mortality has reached 78.6 years, up from 74.7 only 30 years ago. As well as people living longer, people are also more likely to be living alone. Although 90 percent of people marry, nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. In 2010, the US Census Bureau estimated that 28 percent of seniors were living alone. How Does the Caregiving Crunch Affect You and Your Senior Loved One?Americans are very reliant on family members for caregiving in their senior years. Around 34.2 million Americans provide unpaid care to a senior. Ninety-five percent of those are providing care to family members. In total, these unpaid caregivers are offering $500 million of free services to family members, more than three-times what Medicaid pays for professional care each year; however, if you live alone, with no spouse and no family members, this isn't a viable option. As a result, more and more people are turning to professional home care or nursing home care. The number of seniors receiving professional in-home care is continually rising, and since 2015, more seniors have received in-home care than those who receive care in nursing homes. Effectively, there are not enough caregivers to look after the number of people who require help. In the next decade, it is estimated that demand for caregivers will outstrip supply by over three million. Moreover, it doesn't just affect those seniors who have no family. The shortage will affect seniors who have family caregivers needing respite. It will affect seniors living with a condition that requires support. It will affect seniors whose family members can't care full-time due to work or other commitments. Families are more likely than ever to be spread geographically, so those who live far from loved ones are also more likely to be affected. The quality of care is also a worry. As experienced professional caregivers’ schedules become fully committed, it’s more likely that families in need may mistakenly turn to unqualified and inexperienced caregivers. Getting Professional Home Care ServiceIt is important to prepare yourself by researching options and speaking with professionals who can answer your questions and help you plan services. If your loved one has an existing relationship with a caregiver and receives care through an agency, he or she is more likely to be able to adjust services as needed.
Look into professional senior home care through a larger agency. While local caregivers may be available, a national brand may be able to offer more options. Going with a larger brand also tends to provide peace of mind to the family of the senior. Hiring through a large home care agency means you know that the caregiver has been through a vetting process and should be bonded, licensed and insured, offering a level of reassurance that you won’t find hiring through the personal ads. About Visiting Angels Newton/Canton Visiting Angels Newton/Canton senior home care agency provides high-quality in-home care services to seniors and people with disabilities. Countless families have benefited from our dementia home care, companion care, respite support, transitional aid, and senior home care services in Westwood, Norwood, Newton, Needham, Brookline, Chestnut Hill, Canton, Natick, Dedham, Watertown, Stoughton, Roslindale, Wellesley, and nearby towns. The services provided by Visiting Angels Newton/Canton will be sure to make a big impact on your loved one’s happiness and quality of life. Call us today at 617-795-2727 for more information. Clutter can be one of the first signs that your loved one needs help. If you visit your loved one, who normally has the house in near-mint condition, and the house looks unkempt, it is a sign that something may not be right. You may have to play detective and interpret the clues. Seniors don’t always ask for the help they need, so you can’t wait for him or her to make the first move. If you think your loved one is struggling, it might be time to consider getting them support. Clutter poses a significant risk to aging seniors living alone at home because they often have underlying health issues that can make them more prone to falling. When you consider poor eyesight, a misplaced item on the floor in a walkway can become a fall risk. Falls are the leading cause of fatal and non-fatal injuries in seniors; they lead to severe injuries, like hip fractures, broken bones and brain injuries. If your loved one falls once, the risk of future falls double, and the possible health complications increase with each fall. Clutter could be a sign of underlying health problems as well. Clutter can be a sign that your loved one isn’t able to handle day-to-day housework anymore. Your parents may be reaching an age where their muscles and skeleton weaken; or they may have arthritis, which can affect dexterity. Often, seniors can be too proud to ask for help, or in denial that they need assistance. This may be because they don’t want to be a burden on family or friends, or because they fear that a change in routine might lead to a loss of privacy and independence. Clutter may also be an early sign of dementia, e.g. when your loved one is missing steps in their usual daily routine, like forgetting to vacuum or clear up after dinner. Other similar signs include not carrying out basic personal hygiene or forgetting to pay bills. We all forget things, misplace car keys or mix up names, but regular occurrences, particularly in an older person, could be a warning. If you suspect your loved one is exhibiting signs of dementia, contact their physician. A decline in the cleanliness of your loved one’s home could also be due to depression or mental fatigue. As they age, they don’t produce the same levels of chemicals like serotonin that help balance moods. Physical problems, like loss of mobility, can cause them to become isolated and loneliness can be a prime cause of depression. Boredom can be a factor and seniors also face many issues that can be upsetting, like the loss of friends and loved ones, and facing their own mortality. As with dementia, if a general malaise and lack of effort around the home is accompanied by other signs of depression, like weight loss, sudden mood changes and trouble sleeping, it may be wise to contact a medical professional. Maybe friends and family could help your loved one with housework if needed, but remember, this may be a long-term commitment. Of course, you can pick up after your loved one, but that may not address the underlying causes of the clutter in their home. A professional home caregiver from Visiting Angels Newton/Canton can help your family member with housework, either by carrying out tasks that they physically can’t manage or by offering gentle reminders of the tasks still to be done. If your loved one is determined to live at home as mental faculties wane, professional home care can help tremendously. If the clutter in your loved one’s home does become evidence of a deeper problem, a professional caregiver from Visiting Angels Newton/Canton can help with those conditions, too. If your loved one is in the early stages of dementia, a caregiver can help them keep up with daily routines and offer stimulation to help to slow the advance of the disease, while watching for signs of the condition deteriorating. If your loved one is depressed, a professional caregiver can help with activities and socializing, either by offering companionship or by enabling interaction with other seniors. Whatever the reason for the clutter in your loved one’s home, the time to act on it is now. It may be indicative of underlying problems that must be addressed. Visiting Angels Newton/Canton understands that each client has unique needs. Therefore, we design a personalized home care plan for each client, based on the results of an initial in-home consultation by one of our case managers. Then we carefully choose the right caregiver for the client, considering factors such as technical skills, personality traits, and experience. Our home care aides are professional, experienced and always treat clients with respect and dignity. They are trained with the use of Hoyer lifts, gait belt or other transfer equipment. We are on call 24/7 at 617-795-2727, always ready to provide help to your loved one. And, we have a large pool of back-up caregivers. Your loved one will not be alone if your regular caregiver cannot provide service due to unexpected circumstances. Visiting Angels Newton/Canton has won the Best of Home Care Provider of Choice, Leader in Excellence and Employer of Choice from Home Care Pulse for years. Our quality is recognized! If you loved one needs senior home care assistance in Needham, Dedham, Canton, Watertown, Brookline, Wellesley, and nearby areas, please call us at 617-795-2727 for a free consultation. |
AuthorVisiting Angels Newton/Canton is an award-winning in-home care agency that provides high quality home care to seniors and disabled adults in Greater Boston, MA. Archives
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