Maybe you’ve been concerned about your mom recently. As she ages, you’re noticing a few worrisome signs that her needs at home are about to evolve beyond her independence. Sure, you’d love to stop by the house more frequently to help, but with a career and family schedule, it’s nearly impossible for you to take on this massive responsibility. It's a typical scenario in families, and it usually results in uprooting a senior to a nursing home or assisted living facility or retaining professional home care. However, people can be stubborn, especially parents who may be insecure about a type of "role reversal" happening. Your parent not only refuses to leave home, but Mom or Dad is rejecting the very idea of a professional caregiver. So how do you get them on board when they want to stay home but don’t want help from a professional caregiver? Here are five ways to find a caregiving compromise. Talk Through Their Fears — and YoursIt’s not easy for your parents to admit they need help. The thought of having another person in the home to help them perform tasks that used to be routine could make them quite uncomfortable. Of course, over time, that professional home health aide can become a close friend and partner, but it may take a while and trust-building. Work through these fears with your parents instead of forcing a solution. When an adult child becomes too controlling, the resistance from your parents is bound to increase. A 2004 study from SUNY Albany found this to be accurate, stating that participants were ambivalent about receiving care and “use a variety of strategies to deal with their ambivalent feelings, such as minimizing the help they receive, ignoring or resisting children’s attempts to control.” Though you may be frustrated by rejection and reticence, put yourself in their shoes. Be understanding, and once your parent feels understood, explain your point of view. Remember not to be patronizing or disrespectful, but share your genuine concerns about being able to stay home safely. More Dancing, Less WrestlingAn expert in geriatric communication and family relationships, David Solie, wrote a book about the best ways to navigate these difficult conversations. It was called “How to Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders.” Solie recommends the partnership approach and advocates for adult children to “put control on the table” rather than commandeering the process. He believes conversations about care should be “more dancing, less wrestling.” To that end, he offers many tools to talk in more concrete, visual ways about the current situation and the proposed solution. His "dance cards" provide go-to strategies on topics like resetting expectations and minding the gap, and his caregiver “mind maps” allow a caregiver to lay out in detail all the aspects of care to be considered. You could also keep a journal of your parents’ changing in-home senior care needs. All of these checklists and resources are especially helpful in getting buy-in from siblings as well, as your parents may not be the only ones opposed to bringing in-home care. Consider the RisksStaying home without any support can be risky. For one family, an aging spouse refused any at-home living assistance. The family has been worried about his waning mobility. Ultimately, he suffered a fall, which led to a hospitalization and, unfortunately, his passing — as he was not able to recover from the injuries he sustained. While no family can be fully prepared for a fall or other type of sudden health event, there are ways to prevent injuries and incidents that lead to such devastating outcomes — and having a professional caregiver as a presence in the home is one of them. Of course, not every fall results in such a tragic outcome; however, the road to recovery can be a turbulent one for a senior who has fallen. Along with doubling the risk of falling again after falling just once, the sheer financial impact can be crippling. All of this is to say, the risk of leaving Mom or Dad alone when he or she needs help isn't worth it, and you must discuss the risks with your parent. Work With a MediatorYou’ve explored every avenue of persuasion, using all the logic at your disposal, but it may be there is just no convincing Mom or Dad that this is the best option. That’s when bringing in a neutral third party to moderate the conversation could make a difference in the outcome. Sometimes your parents need to hear the options, risks, benefits, and challenges presented by someone who is not as emotionally invested as you are. A mediator may also help lessen the guilt burden many parents put on their children for considering home care. AARP offers these resources for finding a mediator, should this approach work best for your family. Present Options and Let Them ChooseEmpower your parents to decide on home care by gathering information on some providers. Ask for their input: what do they value in a home care company? What’s the budget? Talk about what a professional caregiver can do that they maybe never considered as an option: like providing companionship, or helping with housework and transportation to doctor’s appointments. Once you’ve gathered information on a few options, sit down together to discuss the pros and cons. Remember: even as you partner with a professional caregiver, you will still play an essential role as coordinator and advocate. Your opinion on a trusted in-home caregiver is equally valuable. Need more advice on building consensus on home care among the family? Visiting Angels Newton/Canton can help. Contact us today at 617-795-2727. About Visiting Angels Newton/Canton Visiting Angels Newton/Canton MA is an award-winning local home care agency providing high caliber in-home care services to the elderly and people with disabilities. Countless families have benefited from our Alzheimer's care, dementia home care, companion care, senior care, respite support, transitional aid, and at home living assistance services in Westwood, Norwood, Brookline, Watertown, Needham, Dedham, Canton, Stoughton, Natick, Wellesley, Newton, Chestnut Hill, Roslindale, and nearby towns.
We are honored to have been awarded Top Places to Work by the Boston Globe for five years. We have also earned the Best of Home Care – Leader in Excellence, Trusted Provider, Best of Home Care Provider, and Best of Home Care Employer by Home Care Pulse. We are proudly accredited by the Home Care Alliance of Massachusetts. While non-medical in nature, the care provided by Visiting Angels Newton/Canton can make a significant impact on your loved one's happiness and quality of life. Call us at 617-795-2727 for information.
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Many seniors struggle with chronic medical conditions that must be carefully managed, not just by health professionals, but also by professional caregivers. We spoke with several professional caregivers about common ailments among seniors that can complicate caregiving and how you can help improve the quality of life for your aging loved one. Mobility ChallengesLimited mobility poses more challenges to caregiving. Arthritis affects several adults over the age of 65, making it one of the most common chronic conditions seniors must manage. Osteoporosis, another common diagnosis in seniors, can increase the risk of fractures or falls, leading to significant disability. Falls caused by weak bones or arthritis can make it painful or difficult to complete day to day tasks and prevent your loved one from being physically active. Seniors with mobility problems are particularly at risk for injury inside the home. Keeping the house free of clutter or other potential hazards should be the first step to keeping your loved one with mobility challenges safe. Staying active is also essential for health and well-being for people of all ages, but this may be challenging for those with pain or difficulty moving. Consider speaking to your loved one's doctor to come up with a plan for staying physically active. This may mean a referral to a physical therapist or exercise physiologist who specializes in working around mobility difficulties. Swallowing DifficultiesDid you know that as we age, it is more common to have difficulties with chewing or swallowing? Missing teeth or poorly fitting dentures may cause chewing problems. Swallowing difficulties, called dysphagia, can happen when the esophagus becomes weak, or other physical changes occur. Nicole Keels-McGruder, a professional caregiver, states that caring for seniors with swallowing or chewing difficulties can cause significant challenges. She recalls a senior she cared for, “who could not drink thin fluids and all of her foods had to be pureed. A thickener had to be added to her drinks. Making sure that she was properly elevated during meals was also something that I learned the hard way. Because of her condition, I stayed in the room with her for an additional 30 minutes to make sure that all of her food was down.” Nicole added that the time it took to prepare, puree, thicken, and ensure proper positioning was much more demanding of her time and energy. Getting help with food preparation or supervision of meals can help your loved one if they have been diagnosed with dysphagia. A home health aide can help relieve some of the pressure in caring for and supervising a loved one with dysphagia or other swallowing concerns. Infectious DiseasesAccording to the American Academy of Family Physicians, older adults are more susceptible to infectious diseases. Common contagious illnesses that can impact the elderly include urinary tract infections and digestive and respiratory diseases, like pneumonia and influenza. It is also more challenging to diagnose people over 65 because they don't always present with typical symptoms. Instead, they can experience more generalized symptoms like loss of appetite, a change in mental status or incontinence. A difficulty with a diagnosis can lead to prolonged discomfort and a higher risk of hospitalization. For family caregivers, it is essential to understand the signs and symptoms of common infections to start treatment as soon as possible. Look for sudden changes in behavior, confusion, skin infections, chills, difficulty breathing, cough, fever, digestive disturbances, or lack of appetite. These symptoms should be evaluated immediately by a medical doctor who can determine the best course of action. An annual flu shot is also recommended for all seniors. Home Care Demands a VillageAll this is to say that you should genuinely consider your role in your aging parent's in-home care. Ailments like these are so common among the elderly, the degree of care your loved one needs is sure to evolve. While you may be able to handle things initially, are you genuinely ready to juggle a parent's worsening ailment with your own family and responsibilities?
Many of these conditions that impact older adults are chronic and require regular management. Getting help from a senior home care agency can be instrumental in ensuring your loved one’s quality of life. About Visiting Angels Newton/Canton Choosing the right home care provider is a difficult decision, and you want the best for your loved one. Our experienced and compassionate home caregivers have served countless seniors and disabled adults in Greater Boston with dignity and respect for over 14 years. As a result of our exemplary home care service, Visiting Angels Newton/Canton has won the Best of Home Care Leader in Excellence Award; the Best of Home Care Provider of Choice Award; and the Best of Home Care Employer of Choice Award from the national client satisfaction survey firm Home Care Pulse five years in a row. We have accreditation by Home Care Alliance of Massachusetts and have been awarded Boston Globe Top Places to Work. Visiting Angels Newton/Canton offers dementia home care, Alzheimer’s care, companion care, respite support, transitional aid, live-in care and other elder home care services in Wellesley, Natick, Newton, Needham, Brookline, Chestnut Hill, Canton, Westwood, Dedham, Water-town, Stoughton, Roslindale, Norwood, and nearby towns. The services provided by Visiting Angels Newton/Canton will be sure to make a positive impact on your loved one’s happiness and quality of life. Call us today at 617-795-2727 for more information. When making care decisions for a family member who is showing signs of memory loss, dementia or Alzheimer’s, it’s vital to understand the stages that they may go through. By having a better understanding of the changes in behavior and abilities, you can choose the most effective course of action for your loved one’s treatment and care with the help of doctors and caregivers. Alzheimer’s and dementia place a heavy burden on family and friends. The Alzheimer’s Association states that, in 2017, 16.1 million family members and friends provided 18.4 billion hours of unpaid care to people with Alzheimer’s and other dementias, at a value of over $232 billion. Plus, the slow progression through the stages by the patient leads to long-term care duties for the unpaid Alzheimer’s and dementia caregivers. The Alzheimer’s Association says that 86 percent have provided care for at least the past year, and half have been providing care for four or more years. Depending on the severity of the memory loss of the senior, families often seek help from home care services, ranging from a little respite care to 24-hour home care assistance. The following stages are based on the Reisberg Scale, developed by Dr. Barry Reisberg of New York University. Ultimately, the stage of dementia will be determined by a doctor through the use of tests and examinations. To help make the phases more relatable, we’ll outline some real-world scenarios to go with the more clinical definitions. Stage 1: Normal/No ImpairmentThere are no outward signs of memory loss or dementia, and your loved one’s behavior and mood have not changed. “Laura is still keeping a full calendar, from volunteering at the local hospital to meeting her friends for lunch a few times a week. She’s sharp as a tack, too. She’s started working on digital photography courses and picked it right up.” Stage 2: Very Mild/Normal Aged ForgetfulnessThe second stage of dementia is mostly one that the person subjectively notices happening to themselves. Typical examples would be someone thinking they don’t remember names as well as they used to, or temporarily forgetting where their keys are more often. If someone seems to be in stage 2, some studies have shown that they may progress more rapidly through the following stages. “Paul feels that he’s more forgetful when it comes to places and names, but that it’s not affecting him at work. He’s getting older, so it’s probably just typical stuff for someone his age.” Stage 3: Mild Cognitive ImpairmentIn this stage, changes begin to be noticeable by friends and family. The person can probably get through their daily routine, but a range of symptoms can be observed. There can be higher levels of forgetfulness and memory loss, including more repetitive questions from the person. More complex activities that involve planning and organizations can become challenging, which can be particularly worrisome when it comes to staying on top of medications. There can also be a loss of concentration, higher levels of anxiety, and overall confusion. Stage 3 is where initial Alzheimer’s testing typically occurs, so be sure to encourage family members to be tested. “Jackie is starting to worry me because she’s still trying to do everything she’s used to doing, but she has trouble with her memory. I can also tell that she gets frustrated when she notices it happening.” Stage 4: Moderate DementiaFor people in this stage, tasks like cooking, shopping and cleaning are very hard to accomplish without assistance. Issues with memory loss and forgetfulness intensify and should be very apparent to casual acquaintances. Proper speech and “finding the right words” can be a challenge as well. There can also be noticeable psychological changes, most often seen in withdrawal from social situations. Usually, this is a state of denial where the subject knows their mental facilities are in decline but don’t want to admit it, even to themselves. Rather than engage in a conversation and forget a name, or try to order from a menu and misspeak, they will avoid the situation. This stage is also named mild Alzheimer’s disease, and diagnoses in this stage are often very accurate. “I’m glad Les has his family close by because he’s been in decline the last few months. It has to be hard on them to assist in more and more activities, especially as he seems to be more and more withdrawn.” Stage 5: Moderately Severe DementiaWhen a person enters this stage of dementia, they typically need frequent assistance to make it through their daily activities. There is often an inability to recall necessary, deeply ingrained information, such as phone numbers, home address, or schools attended. Someone in stage 5 would have great difficulty living an independent life. They may need living assistance in a variety of areas, from picking the proper clothes for the weather to eating regular, healthy meals to handling basic tasks like paying a bill. “When I saw Mari the other day, she was wearing short sleeves even though it was 40 degrees outside. I’ve also noticed her not being able to recall her home address, which makes me glad she has someone coming to provide in-home care every day.” Stage 6: Severe DementiaIn stage 6, having full-time care is a must for most patients. They often need help to dress, bathe or use the bathroom. Things that seem as simple as flushing the toilet will be forgotten, leading to cleanliness and sanitary issues within the house. The memory loss can also manifest itself in the person wandering or getting lost and forgetting the names of family members. A breakdown of speaking ability can often occur later in this stage, making it harder for family members and home caregivers to meet the needs of the person. Emotional and behavioral changes can be quite troubling in this stage as well, as those who have severe dementia can be increasingly paranoid and hostile. “John’s family seemed very distraught when discussing his current condition with me. They’re so worried about his behavior that they’re cutting back on visits from friends to see him. Plus, he’s at a stage where things that would be very embarrassing are routinely happening, and they want to protect people’s good memories of him.” Stage 7: Very Severe DementiaStage 7 is the final stage of dementia and patients require full-time care. Moving, eating, talking can be nearly impossible for some people, so even trained professional caregivers can find themselves taxed by the needs of the patient. Symptoms of this stage often include a loss of the ability to speak and communicate, a loss of awareness for people and surroundings, and the failure of motor control, which can lead to an inability to control facial expressions. “It’s troubling to visit Doris these days as there isn’t much of her personality or even physical state left that you would recognize. Thankfully, she has very patient and caring people looking after her who are trying to make her final days as good as they can be.” ConclusionIf you can identify symptoms from any of the stages outlined above in your loved ones, please reach out to their primary caregiver to begin the process of testing. Early detection can be instrumental in managing the progression of the disease and also give you time to plan the approach to caregiving that is right for your family, whether it’s assisted living, friends and family, or in-home care by HHAs and CNAs. About Visiting Angels Newton/Canton Visiting Angels Newton/Canton MA is an award-winning local home care agency providing high caliber in-home care services to elderly and people with disabilities. Countless families have benefited from our dementia home care, Alzheimer’s care, companion care, respite support, transitional aid, and senior home care services in Needham, Dedham, Brookline, Chestnut Hill, Wellesley, Newton, Canton, Westwood, Watertown, Natick, Stoughton, Roslindale, Norwood, and nearby towns. While non-medical in nature, the care provided by Visiting Angels Newton/Canton can make a significant impact on your loved one’s happiness and quality of life. If you have never cared for an elderly loved one, you might think that anyone can provide home care services. However, if you have cared for a parent or grandparent, you know that high-quality care takes a unique mix of skill, patience, and experience. It’s an essential point for anyone hiring home care services: high-quality senior home care means experienced senior home care. To most people, that means hiring a caregiver with a proven background in senior services. While important, this is not all you should look for in senior home care. It’s just as crucial that you’re choosing a qualified, well-respected agency. If the agency is a part of a more extensive network, you’ll also want to consider their experience as an organization. Trusted & Proven Company-Level ReputationAmerica’s most trusted caregiving companies are well-established names with proven track records. Usually, the easiest way to find qualified senior home care is to look for companies with a history of high-quality care. The best home care companies earn their reputations by sharing resources, knowledge, and experience at every level of their organization. They also set and enforce rigorous caregiving standards, giving clients and their families peace of mind. Families choose Visiting Angels for skilled elder home care. As a company, Visiting Angels has more than 20 years of caregiving experience. Over the years, it has created a rigorous support network for its local offices, allowing them to share knowledge and expertise. Every office is provided with the systems, tools, and educational resources needed to deliver truly exceptional care. Visiting Angels Newton/Canton has been a member of this franchise since 2004. Our excellent customer feedback has enabled us to win Best of Home Care from the national client satisfaction survey firm, Home Care Pulse five years in a row. |
AuthorVisiting Angels Newton/Canton is an award-winning in-home care agency that provides high quality home care to seniors and disabled adults in Greater Boston, MA. Archives
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